Busy Work Week

I've been away from my computer for the last 3-4 nights because of work-related activities (resurrected my dormant 'PowerPoint Ranger' skills). Our company just finished its turn in hosting rotating contract-required meetings and my team was one person short--that 'absentee' was the boss! The rest of us pitched in to shoulder the additional responsibilities so I had to create and present two briefings as well as facilitate an information systems security working group that I was assigned to just over a month ago! Today was the final day so I was able to come home early, take a well-deserved power nap, and catch up with the blog and the current scuttlebutt on the DDN message boards.

Speaking of blogging, I remember seeing a thread on that subject (borrowing Star Trek: The Next Generation's Borg) in the 'Brewster Rockit' comic strip about a month or so ago...here are the pertinent panels:

My family is still lukewarm to my 'assimilation'. One night, I mentioned (in jest) that I was going to quit my job and blog full-time. After I laid out a 'financial plan' (said that I could earn a lot of money--hundreds of dollars a month!!--by having ads on my site), my wife asked if my life insurance was currently paid up. After I answered affirmatively, she then told our kids (in jest) that 'plan B' will go into effect shortly...we both had a good laugh!

I did have one pleasant surprise on Wednesday. I logged into the 'Open Mike' page on the DDN website and found out that the selection board picked one of my submissions for its five finalists on last Saturday's 'Popeye' panel. When I logged in this evening, the contest had already ended so I couldn't screen-capture the other choices to post on this blog. I've got my fingers crossed but I also have some concerns. I entered my submissions using my 'nom de plume' and if I win, my identity will be revealed. While I would relish such a public recognition of my wit, I would lose my 'cyber' anonymity...Saturday morning will be very interesting.

I Finally Remembered

After two weeks of futility (and public acknowledgement of my inability to add a simple recurring suspense to Microsoft Outlook), I finally remembered to enter the DDN's "Open Mike" contest. Below is the panel for this week:

I felt this cartoon was a 'target rich environment' in the amount of obvious and underlying items that the contestants could infer from within its boundaries. Popeye is (was?) an American icon and his strips are widely known both here and abroad. Stories surrounding his favorite organic 'pick-me-up' have been in the news forefront over the past week or so—some documenting loss of life. Lingering political issues, although a little more difficult, could be shoehorned into the setting or the pictured scenario.

Over the weekend, I was able to come up with NINE different submissions covering all of the above. I will wait until they announce the five weekly finalists before I share them online; however, if one (or more) of those is (are) chosen by the paper as a finalist, I will stick with that one (them) as my #1 choice (top choices)—but I won’t identify it until after they announce the weekly winner.

Speaking of winning, my Fairborn Warbirds continued their unbeaten streak in our office’s fantasy football league over the weekend. It was a lot closer (a 14-point victory) than the previous 50-point blowout because my main running back (LaDainian Tomlinson of the San Diego Chargers) had a ‘bye’ week and had to sit out. If I didn’t mess up my starting line-up in the first week, I’d have the only undefeated or untied team in the league. The only sports ‘downer’ was the OSU victory over my Nittany Lions…

Why the Urgency?

This past Friday, President Bush held a televised press conference in the White House Rose Garden. Many news outlets critiqued his performance (his tone, gestures, selected phrases) in order to read into why he seemed so angry and somewhat petulant in his conduct with the press corps. I've excerpted a few passages from the transcript to analyze (you can watch the whole thing at this link):

There are two vital pieces of legislation in Congress now that I think are necessary to help us win the war on terror. We will work with members of both parties to get legislation that works out of the Congress. The first bill will allow us to use military commissions to try suspected terrorists for war crimes. We need the legislation because the Supreme Court recently ruled that military commissions must be explicitly authorized by Congress. So we're working with Congress. The Supreme Court said, you must work with Congress; we are working with Congress to get a good piece of legislation out.

The bill I have proposed will ensure that suspected terrorists will receive full and fair trials, without revealing to them our nation's sensitive intelligence secrets. As soon as Congress acts on this bill, the man our intelligence agencies believe helped orchestrate the 9/11 attacks can face justice.

The bill would also provide clear rules for our personnel involved in detaining and questioning captured terrorists. The information that the Central Intelligence Agency has obtained by questioning men like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has provided valuable information and has helped disrupt terrorist plots, including strikes within the United States.

For example, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed described the design of planned attacks of buildings inside the U.S. and how operatives were directed to carry them out. That is valuable information for those of us who have the responsibility to protect the American people. He told us the operatives had been instructed to ensure that the explosives went off at a high -- a point that was high enough to prevent people trapped above from escaping.

He gave us information that helped uncover al Qaeda cells' efforts to obtain biological weapons.

We've also learned information from the CIA program that has helped stop other plots, including attacks on the U.S. Marine base in East Africa, or American consulate in Pakistan, or Britain's Heathrow Airport. This program has been one of the most vital tools in our efforts to protect this country. It's been invaluable to our country, and it's invaluable to our allies.

Were it not for this program, our intelligence community believes that al Qaeda and its allies would have succeeded in launching another attack against the American homeland. Making us -- giving us information about terrorist plans we couldn't get anywhere else, this program has saved innocent lives. In other words, it's vital. That's why I asked Congress to pass legislation so that our professionals can go forward, doing the duty we expect them to do. Unfortunately, the recent Supreme Court decision put the future of this program in question. That's another reason I went to Congress. We need this legislation to save it.

I am asking Congress to pass a clear law with clear guidelines based on the Detainee Treatment Act that was strongly supported by Senator John McCain. There is a debate about the specific provisions in my bill, and we'll work with Congress to continue to try to find common ground. I have one test for this legislation, I'm going to answer one question as this legislation proceeds, and it's this: The intelligence community must be able to tell me that the bill Congress sends to my desk will allow this vital program to continue. That's what I'm going to ask.

The second bill before Congress would modernize our electronic surveillance laws and provide additional authority for the terrorist surveillance program. I authorized the National Security Agency to operate this vital program in response to the 9/11 attacks. It allows us to quickly monitor terrorist communications between someone overseas and someone in the United States, and it's helped detect and prevent attacks on our country.

The principle behind this program is clear: when an al Qaeda operative is calling into the United States or out of the country, we need to know who they're calling, why they're calling, and what they're planning. Both these bills are essential to winning the war on terror. We will work with Congress to get good bills out. We have a duty, we have a duty to work together to give our folks on the front line the tools necessary to protect America. Time is running out. Congress is set to adjourn in just a few weeks. Congress needs to act wisely and promptly so I can sign good legislation.

- Press conference; Washington, DC; September 15, 2006


This is something different for this president (a newfound spirit of cooperation and conciliation has replaced the previous swagger) and his administration. The last few lines above, I feel, are the key to why these 'unorthodox' attributes are surfacing. Although a woman in a persistent vegetative state is not involved in this particular instance, there is an obvious sense of urgency in the president's voice and words.

He seems very concerned about two pieces of legislation currently in front of Congress (he refers to one of them as the 'Detainee Treatment Act' and the other is considered to be modifications to his existing 'Terrorist Surveillance Program'--a.k.a. the 'Warrantless Eavesdropping Program' by those outside of the administration). Below are some long-standing issues that these initiatives will touch upon (I've highlighted the administration's actions/responses to them):

Warrantless wiretapping:

The authorization I gave the National Security Agency after September the 11th helped address that problem in a way that is fully consistent with my constitutional responsibilities and authorities. The activities I have authorized make it more likely that killers like these 9/11 hijackers will be identified and located in time. And the activities conducted under this authorization have helped detect and prevent possible terrorist attacks in the United States and abroad.

- Weekly radio address; Washington, DC; December 17, 2005

Today there are new claims about other ways we are tracking down al Qaeda to prevent attacks on America. I want to make some important points about what the government is doing and what the government is not doing.

First, our international activities strictly target al Qaeda and their known affiliates. Al Qaeda is our enemy, and we want to know their plans. Second, the government does not listen to domestic phone calls without court approval. Third, the intelligence activities I authorized are lawful and have been briefed to appropriate members of Congress, both Republican and Democrat. Fourth, the privacy of ordinary Americans is fiercely protected in all our activities.

- Presidential remarks; Washington, DC; May 11, 2006

I'm here to do a job that needs to be done for the President of the United States. And I'm perfectly willing to go out and speak out on those issues such as the NSA terrorist surveillance program because I believe very deeply in what we're doing. It's the right thing to do, and, frankly, I don't spend a lot of time worrying about the polls.

- Face the Nation; Washington, DC; March 19, 2006

Torture:

2. Pursuant to my authority as commander in chief and chief executive of the United States, and relying on the opinion of the Department of Justice dated January 22, 2002, and on the legal opinion rendered by the attorney general in his letter of February 1, 2002, I hereby determine as follows:

a. I accept the legal conclusion of the Department of Justice and determine that none of the provisions of Geneva apply to our conflict with al-Qaida in Afghanistan or elsewhere throughout the world because, among other reasons, al-Qaida is not a High Contracting Party to Geneva.

b. I accept the legal conclusion of the attorney general and the Department of Justice that I have the authority under the Constitution to suspend Geneva as between the United States and Afghanistan, but I decline to exercise that authority at this time. Accordingly, I determine that the provisions of Geneva will apply to our present conflict with the Taliban. I reserve the right to exercise the authority in this or future conflicts.

c. I also accept the legal conclusion of the Department of Justice and determine that common Article 3 of Geneva does not apply to either al-Qaida or Taliban detainees, because, among other reasons, the relevant conflicts are international in scope and common Article 3 applies only to "armed conflict not of an international character."

d. Based on the facts supplied by the Department of Defense and the recommendation of the Department of Justice, I determine that the Taliban detainees are unlawful combatants and, therefore, do not qualify as prisoners of war under Article 4 of Geneva. I note that, because Geneva does not apply to our conflict with al-Qaida, al-Qaida detainees also do not qualify as prisoners of war.

- Excerpt from presidential order given on Feb. 7, 2002, outlining treatment of al-Qaida and Taliban detainees

In early October, 2002, Joint Task Force 170, the SouthCom entity charged with prisoner interrogation at Guantanamo Bay forwarded a Request for Approval of Counter Resistance Strategies of 11 October, 02. That, in turn, was forwarded to the Joint Chiefs of Staff by Commander SouthCom on 25 October, 02.

The Request noted that "current" interrogation guidelines "limit the ability of interrogators to counter advanced resistance." It proposed three categories of interrogation techniques.

- Category I included an initial comfortable environment but if the detainee was determined by the interrogator to be uncooperative, could include 1) yelling (but not loudly enough to cause physical pain), and 2) techniques of deception including multiple interrogators and misidentification of the interrogator as a citizen of a foreign country "with a reputation for harsh treatment of detainees."

- Category II, which required the permission of the General in Charge of the Interrogation Section, included "...the use of stress positions (like standing), for a maximum of four hours," the use of falsified documents or reports, solitary confinement for up to thirty days, interrogation in other than the standard interrogation booth, sensory deprivation, hooding with unrestricted breathing, "removal of all comfort items (including religious items)," feeding cold Army rations, removal of clothing, "forced grooming (shaving of facial hair etc.)," and "use of detainees individual phobias (such as fear of dogs) to induce stress."

- Category III techniques include the use of "scenarios designed to convince the detainee that death or severely painful consequences are imminent for him and/or his family," "exposure to cold weather or water (with appropriate medical monitoring)," "use of a wet towel and dripping water to induce the misperception of suffocation," and use of "mild, non injurious physical contact such as grabbing, poking in the chest with the finger and light pushing."

- Counter-resistance techniques suggested by JTF 170; October 11, 2002

On 2 December, 2002, Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld, approved Category I and II techniques and the fourth technique in Category III ("mild, non-injurious physical contact"). The use of death threats to family, exposure to cold weather and water, and simulated drowning was not approved although DOD General counsel advised they "may be legally available." A number of those techniques were apparently used. On 15 January, 2003, Secretary Rumsfeld rescinded his approval of Category II and one Category III techniques pending a study by DOD General Counsel. He noted that "Should you determine that particular techniques in either of these categories are warranted in an individual case, you should forward that request to me." Approval of Category I techniques apparently remained in effect.

We conclude that for an act to constitute torture as defined in Section 2340, it must inflict pain that is difficult to endure. Physical pain amounting to torture must be equivalent in intensity to the pain accompanying serious physical injury, such as organ failure, impairment of bodily function, or even death. For purely mental pain or suffering to amount to torture under Section 2340, it must result in significant psychological harm of significant duration, e.g., lasting for months or even years. We conclude that the mental harm also must result from one of the predicate acts listed in the statute, namely: threats of imminent death; threats of infliction of the kind of pain that would amount ot physical torture; infliction of such physical pain as a means of psychological torture; use of drugs or other procedures designed to deeply disrupt the senses, or fundamentally alter an individual’s personality; or threatening to do any of these things to a third party. The legislative history simply reveals that Congress intended for the statute’s definition to track the Convention’s definition of torture and the reservations, understandings, and declarations that the United States submitted with its ratification. We conclude that the statute, taken as a whole, makes plain that it prohibits only extreme acts.

- Excerpt from memorandum from Office of the Assistant Attorney General for Alberto R. Gonzales, Counsel to the President; Re: Standards of Conduct for Interrogation under 18 U.S.C. §§ 2340-2340A

ACLU Executive Director Anthony D. Romero released the memo Dec. 20 in New York. That document, a May 22, 2004 FBI internal e-mail, suggests that Bush issued a secret Executive Order authorizing the use of extreme coercive measures in interrogation, including sleep deprivation, stress positions, attack dogs, and use of hoods to intimidate prisoners. The Geneva Convention Against Torture bans all of these practices.

- Army email referencing a secret executive order authorizing the use of torture in Iraq

I can say that we, in fact, are consistent with the commitments of the United States that we don't engage in torture. And we don't.

I can guarantee you that we do do as a government, as an administration, is to support and uphold the Constitution of United States, that we do, in fact, take extraordinary steps to make certain we maintain our constitutional obligations and responsibilities, which includes both defending the country as well as defending individual liberties and protecting the rights of all Americans.

- Nightline; Al-Asad, Iraq; December 18, 2005

I want to be absolutely clear with our people, and the world: The United States does not torture. It's against our laws, and it's against our values. I have not authorized it -- and I will not authorize it.

- Press event; Washington, DC; September 6, 2006

Secret prisons:

In addition to the terrorists held at Guantanamo, a small number of suspected terrorist leaders and operatives captured during the war have been held and questioned outside the United States, in a separate program operated by the Central Intelligence Agency.

Many specifics of this program, including where these detainees have been held and the details of their confinement, cannot be divulged.

Information from the terrorists in this program has helped us to identify individuals that al Qaeda deemed suitable for Western operations, many of whom we had never heard about before.

This program has also played a critical role in helping us understand the enemy we face in this war.

The CIA program has detained only a limited number of terrorists at any given time -- and once we've determined that the terrorists held by the CIA have little or no additional intelligence value, many of them have been returned to their home countries for prosecution or detention by their governments.

- Press event; Washington, DC; September 6, 2006

So why is there a rush to get these proposed pieces of legislation through Congress? Could it be that he knows that Congress will change hands in the new year and someone (actually a lot of people pictured above and behind the scenes) will be caught with their hand in the legal ‘cookie jar’??? Johnathan Turley, George Washington University professor and Consitutional scholar, brought up this subject later that same night on MSNBC's 'Countdown' program (click on graphic below to watch the video segment):

"You know, the thing that is ticking here, in terms of a clock, is the fact that these 14 guys that were recently transferred just arrived not that long ago in Gitmo in Cuba. They are going to be, or have been, interviewed by the Red Cross. Most people believe that waterboarding, they where (ph) you are held underwater until you think that you‘re going to drown. That is undeniably torture under the international standard.

If that occurs in the coming days, the United States, and specifically the president, will be accused of committing a very serious violation of international law. Torture is one of the top three or four things that the international law is designed to prevent.

And so the reason there‘s this move to try to get legislation as fast as possible is because I think the administration senses that there‘s a lot of trouble coming down this mountain."

- Countdown; Washington, DC; September 15, 2006

It now appears quite possible that the administration that could not be defeated via the ballot box could well be removed (or seriously damaged) at the hands of their own hubris. These are the same people who believed the ends justified the means in any situation, no matter how incongruent their methods were to existing statues, accepted protocols or traditions, or even Constitutional law. Oh, how the mighty have fallen...

Soon to be mass-issued throughout the Bush Administration

To request such legislation (Turley insinuated that they might provide retroactive protection for the president's already committed 'transgressions') at this late hour of the Congressional session demonstrates their desperation to avoid any accountability for their actions over the past five years. Immigration reform, border security, the Iraq war--all will be pushed aside to save the president's backside. At least they won't be debating about Terri Schiavo again...

Forgot (Again)...

We had an open house at my son's school tonight so I don't have anything significant to post...wait, here's something:


Another week and another missed deadline for my submission for 'Open Mike' honors. I think I need to set the Tuesday noon suspense in my Outlook calendar. Here's my best entry:

And here's the DDN's top five reader-submitted choices:

Although all of the chosen finalists allude to the president's current 'brouhahas' (gas prices, torture, losing his political allies, bumbling job performance, lame duck status), none of these is really jumping out at me. I'll just have to wait until Saturday to see what my fellow readers think.


P.S. I'm 1-0-1 (one wins, no losses, one tie) in my fantasy football league. I had a big win this past weekend (50 point margin of victory) and if I didn't change a starter in the first week of the season AFTER he played in a game (rookie mistake and website 'issues' caused me to forfeit points and drop into a tie), I would be undefeated! Go Warbirds!

Weekend Update

With apologies to Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtain...

It's been a few days since I've posted so I wanted to follow-up on a couple of things before I go on to new material...

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In my 'Open Mike' post, I provided my (tardy) submission along with the five finalists for this week's contest. Today, the DDN revealed that one of my two 'finalists' was picked as the winner (the caption read 'the democrats finally found someone that represents their message'). When I reviewed the drawing today, I saw something that was not readily apparent to me the first time through...stay with me on this one...

My faux pas was that I temporarily forgot that mimes were associated with the French (the most famous modern mime, Marcel Marceau, was born in and currently lives in France). That rather innocuous fact about a famous performer then gets mixed up with that country's recent political history of opposing the US's war in Iraq...you still following? The final piece of this puzzle comes from John Kerry's personal connection with France (he spent his childhood summers at his maternal grandmother's estate in the northwestern part of that country).

Still don't see it? Mimes are French...John Kerry used to live in France...John Kerry is a Democrat...therefore, Democrats must be French mimes! If you still don't get it, I guess you just aren't using the right-wing of your brain! :-)

Conservative Reasoning 101

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I did get to listen to Air America Radio on my flights on Thursday. Because AAR is changing their schedule this coming Monday, Rachel Maddow was taking a few days off to let her get adjusted to her new 6:00-8:00PM time slot. Bill Crowley filled in but it just wasn't the same experience so I reverted to 'plan B'--my iPod--to entertain me for the duration of that rather drowsy flight (alarm had me up at 4:30AM). The return trip was uneventful except for the unanticipated pleasure for my ears from Sam Seder, the remaining host of AAR's 'Majority Report' show. Sam and his former program ‘compadre’ Janeane Garofalo were two of the original on-air personalities when AAR debuted in late March 2004. Since that auspicious start, the show suffered from poor ratings (not broadcast in some markets due to scheduling conflicts--WCKY & WSAI did not air the show because they tape-delayed AAR's 3:00-7:00PM programming until 6:00PM to allow them to bring their listeners Ed Shultz during that critical commuter 'drive-time' time slot) and the departure of Garofalo in July 2006 (she had already been splitting her time between the show and appearing on 'The West Wing' as Louise Thorton, campaign manager for the fictional Matt Santos (Jimmy Smits) presidential bid.

(I know that she's also done movies and television but I'll always remember her as Jerry Seinfeld's fiancé Jeannie Steinman who turned out to be just too much like him (same initials, both ate cereal for dinner, loved Superman) and led to them having the world's first--and only--mutual breakup, much to the chagrin of George "We Had a Deal" Costanza who later inadvertently 'offed' his fiancé Susan with the toxic glue from the old invitation envelopes. Even though that show ended over eight years ago, it still remains as surreal as ever).

Back to Seder…although I was up for almost 16 hours, Sam’s passion and conviction for what he feels is needed to point our country in the ‘correct’ direction gave me a much-needed ‘second wind’ to finish my day. He was taking calls from his listeners who were upset that the Majority Report was ending the following evening. Many of the callers had started listening since the early days of the show and had grown accustomed to Seder. Air America must’ve also sensed this level of devotion and passion and has given him his own show in the 9:00AM-12:00PM timeslot alongside Jerry Springer on their network. According to AAR’s website, they are giving their affiliates the option of carrying either of the two programs and early indications show that the majority will keep Springer for that timeslot (AAR also has a similar arrangement with Thom Hartmann who has daily program that is on opposite the Al Franken Show). Since Cincinnati is Springer’s adopted hometown, I doubt that WSAI will drop him to pick up Seder; however, I will now be able to stream audio of his show during my working hours to keep me as energized as I was at 32,000’ this past Thursday evening.

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Finally, Air America Radio did NOT declare bankruptcy as some media outlets forecast earlier in the week. A spokesman for the network stated that there were some employee layoffs but they were associated with AAR’s move in the New York City radio market (changed their flagship station from WLIB to WWRL). He also admitted that there have been some ‘cash flow problems’ but that Al Franken would be receiving his paychecks (earlier statements from Franken indicated that he had stopped receiving compensation). During his Thursday show, Franken stated that bankruptcy would not silence the progressive network, eluding to the fact that other companies—specifically mentioning United Airlines—continue to provide services during their financial restructuring.

The rumors of AAR’s demise had many of their right wing deriders salivating. Newshounds.com reported that Bill O’Reilly, Franken’s personal ‘punching bag’ over the last 2-3 years, was absolutely giddy about this news and shared his disparagement of progressive talk radio with guests Alan Colmes and Michael Gallagher. All three host radio shows (both O’Reilly and Gallagher have nationally syndicated conservative-leaning radio talk shows while Colmes hosts a liberal talk show on Fox News Radio); however ‘Bill-o’ and Gallagher constantly ‘piled’ on AAR, calling them “mental patients” and “soulless”.

Colmes, Sean Hannity’s liberal ‘lap dog’ on their nightly FNC television show, agreed with their premise that AAR was ‘message first, entertainment second’ but refused to bash them—even after being baited by his segment colleagues. In his defense, O’Reilly did state that there were hateful right-wing hosts and programming on the airwaves today which Gallagher just laughed off and went into another screed about Janeane Garofalo and ‘Stuart Smalley’—one of Franken’s characters from his ‘Saturday Night Live’ days.

O'Reilly--AAR Bankrupt! (click on the photo to watch the video)

In the aftermath of this clarification by AAR, some of the network’s right wing deriders seem to be having it both ways. In a posting on the Hot Air website, they stated that they had a ‘warm Friday fuzzy’ for their supporters (Hot Air claims to be the world’s first full-service conservative Internet broadcast network) in their analysis of the thinkprogress.org’s posting from Wednesday. Their logic works this way: either the first announcement was right and AAR is ‘circling the drain’ or that Think Progress got the story wrong and will be humiliated by their ‘cyber’ peers. Such small things entertain those with so little to blow their own horns about...

My question for these folks is this: why would they think that humiliation would work on Think Progress when many more crucial conservative ‘untruths’ are routinely dispatched from 1600 Pennsylvania with little to no shame attached?

AAR to Declare Bankruptcy on Friday

From thinkprogress.org's website earlier this evening:

Air America To Declare Bankruptcy, But Progressive Radio Remains Strong

Air America Radio will announce a major restructuring on Friday, which is expected to include a bankruptcy filing, three independent sources have told ThinkProgress.

Air America could remain on the air under the deal, but significant personnel changes are already in the works. Sources say five Air America employees were laid off yesterday and were told there would be no severance without capital infusion or bankruptcy. Also, Air America has ended its relationship with host Jerry Springer.

The right wing is sure to seize on Air America’s financial woes as a sign that progressive talk radio is unpopular. In fact, Air America succeeded at creating something that didn’t exist: the progressive talk radio format. That format is now established and strong and will continue with or without Air America. Indeed, many of the country’s most successful and widely-syndicated progressive talk hosts — Ed Schultz and Stephanie Miller, for instance — aren’t even associated with Air America.

Radio giant Clear Channel is so committed to progressive talk radio that, this week, it will announce a partnership with the Center for American Progress and MSS Inc. to conduct a nationwide search for the next Progressive Talk Radio Star.

UPDATE: Air America responds.

If Air America had filed for bankruptcy every time someone rumored it to be doing so, we would have ceased to exist long ago; it may be frustrating to some that this hasn’t happened. No decision has been taken to make any filing of any kind, we are not sure of the source of these rumors and frankly can not respond to every rumor in the marketplace.

Hmmm...I've got a left-leaning website announcing the imminent bankruptcy filing by the major progressive/liberal radio network in the country. I'm not really sure who to believe but I do know it will make my on-going quest that much more difficult. While right-wing America will be celebrating this news, filing for bankruptcy does NOT mean the death of AAR. They've carried a lot of debt through their start-up and 2+ year existence and this will allow them to better structure themselves and (hopefully) their product.

P.S. I'm out of town on business tomorrow (leave in the early AM, return in the late evening) and I'll be flying on Air Tran Airways. Besides offering a non-stop flight to my final destination, they pipe XM satellite radio through their entertainment system and AAR is currently on their station line-up (#167). I'll definitely be tuned in to Rachel Maddow in the morning and I guess I'll listen to 'The Majority Report' on the way back (the show isn't carried by WSAI).

I was hoping to listen in to 'Countdown with Keith Olbermann' on the return trip but XM dropped MSNBC programming audio late last month--I better set the DVR before I hit the sack!

DDN's 'Open Mike'

A few months ago, the DDN opened up another portion of its op/ed pages to the whims of its reading audience. In their continuing effort to placate the 'DDN is a liberal rag' faction, the paper announced the start of a weekly contest, called Open Mike, to help caption a cartoon drawn by their Pulitzer Prize winning cartoonist Mike Peters. He does all the artwork but then leaves a 'word balloon' above one of the character's heads to allow the reader to supply what they believe to be the funniest or most satirical line. I'm guessing that newspaper readers (including me) have secretly desired the power to do this and now the DDN has given us our chance.

Every Saturday, a new panel is unveiled for the readership to review and submit their entries for. There is no limit on the number of submissions per person but that portion of the contest is halted on noon the following Tuesday. At that time, the editorial board picks their five favorites and posts them on their website to allow readers to make their choice of their favorite. If selected, you will be recognized when the panel is reprinted the following Saturday along with a new panel for that week. They also receive an original copy of the cartoon from Peters

The first contest I participated in had a panel with President Bush sitting behind his desk in the Oval Office. Next to his desk, a large hole in the floor is visible with a word balloon coming from someone down in the hole. Because it was in the early weeks after Vice President Cheney's notorious quail hunting incident, many of the entries had to deal with errant discharges of firearms. While these seemed to be very popular, others referenced the Cheney reference to the infamous 'secure undisclosed location' or the administration's constant search for Iraqi WMDs or the plummeting approval ratings for the president since Hurricane Katrina. I must have submitted over a dozen lines myself and I patiently waited until late Tuesday to see if one (or more) of mine was (were) selected. When they posted the finalists that evening, I could not believe what inferior choices (IMHO) the board made. I did not see any satiric wit or 'gotchas' in the entire lot. Despite my disappointment, I did choose one of the 'lame five' and wasn't at all surprised when even THAT one was not selected the winner for that week.

I haven't returned to the contest page since then, although I do look at the Saturday edition of the DDN to check out that week's winner as well as the new panel. It wasn't until the one this week that I felt compelled to jump back into the ring; however, when I finally got around to going to their site, the deadline had already passed.

Here is last Saturday's panel and the editorial board's five favorite reader captions:

Out of these five, the last one is extremely lame (the WH press secretary isn't sworn in with the Presidential Seal in front of him on what appears to be the Capitol balcony) and the fourth one a little less so (harkens to Bush's weakness on remembering people and countries during the 2000 campaign). I do 'get' the second one but Iraq is the most pressing issue for today's military today--not ballistic missile defense. That puts the first and third ones as the most logical choices of the five and I predict that people will vote based upon their party affiliation (although I do think the 'democrats' one is more true than funny).

In the spirit of cyber-democracy, I have cast my ballot (it's still a voter's privilege not to reveal their choice); however, if I would've been more proactive, this is what my entry was going to be:

In the spirit of my blog's original raison d'être, I will now start posting my entries, submitted or not, here on a weekly basis. And who knows...if I ever learn to draw, maybe Mike Peters could get a future run for his money!

Personal 9/11 Story

This post has taken several days to edit and 'polish' before I felt it was up to my personal standards for putting in my blog. The pictures were taken with a very primitive digital camera but I was lucky to have it with me during this historic time.


With apologies to Orwell, today was a 'double-plus bad' day for me. While the date marks the 5-year anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, it also marks the lowest point of my life in terms of serving my children, my wife and my country.

2001 was a strange time in my life. I was in the midst of a raging 'mid-life crisis'. My wife and I had grown apart over the years and I looked to other avenues to seek understanding and support (emotional--not physical). I had received orders in January to report to an overseas base that could not support the medical needs of my family. Although I had enough years in uniform to opt for retirement, I had no viable plan in place to secure my post-military career in this area. My wife was employed at the time and did not want to relocate again--we had moved six times in the past 10 years--so I could find work in the Washington, DC area (considered 'Mecca' or 'the mother ship' for intel types).

With reality slapping me squarely across the face, the 'crisis' faded and we opted for me to take the unaccompanied, 2-year tour away from Ohio, the US of A, and my loved ones. We bought a house in the local area (we were living on WPAFB at the time) and prepared for the separation. I started an online graduate studies program so that my time away would be productive. I took almost the entire month of August off so that I could spend time with our kids and take them back east to visit their aunts and uncles in Pennsylvania. As the days counted down to my departure, I started to realize that this tour was going to be a lot harder than originally thought, especially for my son. When the fateful day arrived, we filled up my wife's car and drove to the airport. Back in those days, family members could still go as far as the departure gate; however, I opted to make things less traumatic and opted for a curbside goodbye. With tears in our eyes, we said our farewells and as they drove away, I could see my son start to bawl uncontrollably in the back of the car. Girding myself, I gathered my personal things and entered the terminal. I found a phone so I could leave a message on the house's answering machine (I'm always a little uneasy about flying and--somewhat morbidly--want that appliance to extend my mortality in case the worse happened). Once I hung up, I headed to the check-in counter to start my long journey--the date was September 10th.

My early flights were rather uneventful. A layover in St. Louis had me watching the NY Giants playing the Denver Broncos on Monday Night Football (at one time, I was planning to be at that game but that's not a subject for this posting). I continued on to Seattle where I would join plenty of travel-weary and sleep-deprived military travelers for an early morning (4:45AM) departure for the Far East. Not feeling very sleepy, I found the airport's USO lounge, plugged in my laptop computer, and worked on some of my schoolwork to pass the time. As we started to board the plane, I was starting to feel the effects of sleep-deprivation but I was drawn to one of the televisions in the waiting area. On the screen, CNN's "Daybreak" was showing a live shot of the White House (the sun had already come up in Washington) and it looked utterly splendid in that light (weather across the entire eastern seaboard was nearly perfect that morning--cloudless and plenty of sunshine). We proceeded to board the plane and I barely stayed awake through take-off. It was supposed to be an uneventful, 8-to-9 hour flight--but no one would've imagined the events that were about to unfold.

About two hours into our journey, we were awakened by the captain making an announcement on the speaker system. While I was rubbing sleep out of my eyes, I thought I heard him say that a 'national emergency' had been declared and that we were going to be diverted to Anchorage, Alaska for an unscheduled stop. As others began regaining full consciousness, we started to chat among ourselves about what this 'emergency' could possibly be (the captain gave no supporting information). Some thought assassination--president, vice president or both--while others couldn't fathom a plausible reason that would ground an already airborne plane. We flew along for about another hour or so and had breakfast before we did something I never thought I'd experience on a plane--the jettisoning of perfectly good jet fuel. We took off with enough to get us all the way to Japan (with some to spare, just in case) and the pilot expected to use all of it prior to arrival and keep our landing weight within prescribed tolerances. Since we were not going to stay airborne long enough to burn it all, we had to get rid of it in some other manner. I had a window seat and was able to witness firsthand the plane expel its precious fuel into the Gulf of Alaska via a tube near the end of the wing (the entire process took between 15-20 minutes).

Jet fuel being expelled from our charter jet (stream coming out of the nozzle near top center of photo)

Since we were a military charter flight, the pilot was now directed to land at Elmendorf AFB (sits on the outskirts of Anchorage). It was a rather uneventful touchdown but the anxiety level was high because we would finally be told the full cause of this diversion. The plane then taxied to a spot on the apron near a large mobility hanger that would be our first staging area. It was only after the plane physically stopped moving and the engines were shut down that we were informed about the attacks on the East Coast. There was widespread disbelief that those actions happened yet an internal relief that our own flight did not share a similar fate. Some on the plane still had their stateside cell phones and started to call their relatives and friends to assure them that they were OK. I borrowed a fellow passenger's phone to call my wife but she had already left work to meet the kids when they were sent home from school. I eventually called my old office to have them relay my status to her.

Once emptied, our plane sat idle for almost three full days

Because Alaskan time is four hours behind EST, it was just a little after 7AM local when we landed and the base was only in the early stages of hunkering down against a then-unknown enemy and the possibility of more attacks. We deplaned and were herded over to the large hanger in order to begin our formal ‘conversion’ into a quasi-military unit of active-duty, retired and civilian passengers. After an impromptu roll call (checking identification cards against names on the flight’s manifest), we were free to wander inside the building. I really was in need of some caffeine so I began to look for a snack bar or soda machine. During that search, I walked past a conference room that appeared to be overflowing with people. I was able to wedge myself in and it was then that I got my first glimpse of the aftermath in lower Manhattan (the buildings had fallen about an hour or so earlier).

Trying to come to terms with our situation

I have visited New York City a few times and flown in and out of its surrounding airports so I was familiar with its world-famous skyline. We took our 6^th grade class trip to NYC in 1973 and the Twin Towers had already been completed and occupied a year or so earlier. We didn’t visit them that day (I never did get the chance) but I was drawn to their sheer size while waiting for a ferry to take us out to the Statue of Liberty. While the WTC had its detractors, it eventually grew into one of the city’s enduring symbols—and one that also attracted undue attention. While assigned in the Washington, DC area, I had the pleasure of visiting the Pentagon on several occasions. To me, it felt confining and a bit confusing for a visitor to navigate one's way around, but I felt envious of the personnel who were assigned there--feeling the 'pulse' of the Defense Department from close range. With a Pepsi in my hand, I found an empty chair and sat down to watch the news coverage (they were interviewing a few analysts and experts in their studio). It wasn't until I saw the lingering shots of the carnage in lower Manhattan and northern Virginia that I realized that our nation will never be the same and I began to reflect on how these events would affect my upcoming assignment.

Viewing TV coverage in the conference room

After watching non-stop coverage for around an hour or so, I returned to the main assembly area to find out that we were not going to continue on to Japan that day and that we were going to be housed locally until we got the authorization to proceed. Families traveling together would be placed into the base’s billeting facilities or, if no room is available, be placed in local hotels. Since Anchorage was a waypoint for many trans-Pacific flights, the city’s main airport was suddenly the destination for many inbound flights to the US. Due to the amount of people that normally travel on long-haul commercial aircraft, a lot of those passengers were going to have to be placed in temporary lodging and probably be inconvenienced for the duration of their unintended stay in Alaska. Since I was flying ‘solo’, I was directed to report with the other unaccompanied members from our flight to the base’s recreation center to await deliveries of bedding (cots) and food (meals ready-to-eat or MREs) later in the morning. We (approximately 160 people) were then transported by a bus convoy to our new ‘home away from home’—growing somewhat impatient but also anxious about how our lives were about to change.

Elmendorf AFB's recreation center--our 'home away from home'

The facility used to be an old hanger (not as big as the first one we were in) and lacked in most of the creature comforts we cranky and dirty passengers were outwardly craving. The cots arrived first and we began to form up our ‘cot communities’ based upon newly formed friendships during our trip. We next received a delivery of MREs which, after going for almost six hours without a real meal, tasted surprisingly good. The next order of business was cleaning ourselves up. The center did house some gym equipment (treadmills and other aerobic devices) but it had limited changing and showering facilities (4 showers—two male, two female—and a household-sized water heater). After weighing their options, the only viable solution would be for our hosts to bus us over in shifts to the base’s gymnasium (already closed due to the emergency). Once clean and fed, most of us decided to nap while some clustered around the available television sets (each set to a different network) to watch the wall-to-wall coverage. Later that evening, we had the opportunity to eat at one of the base’s dining facilities (we were bussed again and had to sign out and in to maintain personnel readiness and accountability).

To occupy our free time, the center had a single Internet-connected computer available for public use and we devised a schedule to provide people equitable opportunities to use it. Since I had my laptop with me, I could draft my emails ‘offline’ and then upload them to the ‘net’ via floppy diskette. The base’s Services division also provided each person a phone calling card to allow them to contact their relatives and update them on their status. When we turned in that first night, we thought it would be our last in these contingency conditions; however, it was not to be.

Bunking down for the first night

The next morning, after showers and breakfast, our ‘commander’ (the highest ranking person on the flight—turned out to be a Navy chaplain) was told that our plane would be leaving that day and that we need to prepare for our departure. This entailed repacking our luggage, disassembling our ‘communities’ and cleaning up the facility. After we had about half of the cots on the trucks, another official showed up and regretfully told us that we were not going to be able to go after all. According to a hurriedly drafted priority matrix, only the top six categories of flights would be allowed to fly—we fell out at #9. Back went the cots but our ‘captors’ lessened this latest ‘blow’ by allowing us to visit the base’s exchange complex (akin to a civilian shopping center or strip mall) to pass the idle hours.

Trekking for breakfast at one of the base's dining facilities

While fewer people were glued to the televisions, more of us started to form our own cliques. One couple (I’m assuming they were traveling together without the benefit of a marriage license) was so dismayed that they could not ‘sleep’ together took the bold step of creating a yurt-like fortress near the center of the main floor to conceal their amorous activities. It was humorous to witness the base’s commander (a one-star general) attempt to explain this ‘conjugal tent’ to his young son who accompanied him on his perfunctory ‘grip-and-grin’ with us ‘refugees’. Other lapses of discipline started to occur due to boredom and anxiety. Beer and liquor were smuggled into close proximity of the center and several folks chose to imbibe. A rather raucous card game continued throughout the evening which inconvenienced anyone within earshot (it was eventually broken up shortly after midnight). A mandatory meeting was held the next morning to address these breeches of communal etiquette but no one was actually cited or counseled for their activities.

We had now been in Alaska for two full days (landed early on Tuesday and it was now early on the 13th) and almost all of us were eager to leave. It was early afternoon when we found out that our priority had been ‘elevated’ high enough to earn us departure clearance. We waited until the final minute to tear down the cots this time and proceeded by bus over to the terminal for boarding. Because we were interrupted in our trans-Pacific journey, we needed to be ‘inserted’ back into the flight patterns at approximately the same time we would’ve been flying past Alaska on our original flight so that we could land in Japan at the appropriate time. This meant we were taking off at nearly 4:00AM on the morning of the 14th. Being so soon after the tragedies, military security screening had not progressed to the level of discomfort commercial aviation adopted when flying resumed. Having hardly slept since early the previous day, I was slumbering shortly after takeoff. Due to the International Date Line, we ‘lost’ a day and landed in Tokyo at approximately 7AM on the morning of the 15th. At the military air terminal, outgoing passengers were still glued to the stateside newscasts that had not yet returned to their normal schedule. Some of them would be boarding the plane we just disembarked to fly back to a nation that had changed dramatically since their last visit.

Waiting to board our continuation flight to Japan

While I share our nation’s pain on each subsequent anniversary, they also provides me an opportunity to reflect on this occasion in a personal way. History is chock full of definitive moments. Like Pearl Harbor nearly 60 years before, America was attacked from an outside enemy in a way that displayed a blatant ignorance of civilized rules and norms. The Japanese conducted a surprise attack (some might claim otherwise due to RW revisionist history attempts over the past 5-10 years) on US soil. While I will not introduce my personal take on the whole ‘who’ issue concerning 9/11, the sad fact is that thousands of innocent people were killed for no other reason than working in facilities or riding in aircraft that represented the United States. As I said earlier, I choose to ignore the intertwined politics today and instead reflect and privately honor the victims. There are plenty of other days available throughout the year to spar and debate.

My introspection concerns my perceived weakness at that moment in time. While I was fully protected when confined inside an airborne aluminum tube or behind a razor-wire chain link perimeter fence, my family was totally exposed to the unprecedented chaos and horror of that day without me there to shield or comfort them. I did have opportunities to talk with all of them on the phone and exchange emails, but that long-distance solution does not meet my standard—at least in my own mind—of fulfilling my paternal or spousal obligations during one of the greatest crises in American history. With my professional background, I requested permission to report over to the local intel unit to provide whatever assistance they might need but administrative issues and our uncertain departure plan nixed that idea. So all I could do for those three days was sit…and watch…and wait…and think...about things...like marriage...and fatherhood...and life...

These past five years have gone by in fits and starts--times of manic activity and accomplishment matched with lonely and lethargic spans. I have been back in Ohio for over two years now with both my family and marriage intact. Not totally without some residual issues, I credit my survival during this separation on a deeply personal desire to be part of something greater than myself and a case could be made that those tragic events in September 2001 helped us to grow individually and as a couple. My wife gained a greater sense of independence during my absence, being both a mother AND father to two sometimes challenging children. I had to maintain an entire household on my own--and all the associated responsibilities of doing that in a foreign country-- for the first time in my adult life. I finished my online degree and we now are reaping the financial benefits for me attaining that additional level of higher education.

Since I am no longer a religious man, I believe fate positioned me in a specific place at that specific time where I was virtually incapacitated and isolated in order to help me learn an important life lesson. Each September 11th, I mourn for the victims of those attacks but I also recognize the painful 'death' of a previous version of me. While bureaucrats are still wrangling about memorials for that date's 'hallowed grounds', I get to live with mine for (hopefully) a long time to come.